A Grandpa for Christmas

I would like to have a big barrel of hummus of which I would use to spread the hummus all over my feet and my toes using a large-sized butter knife! I am the eternal Grandpa, giving advice to the young children with a whisker-faced wisdom reserved for the enlightened few. Remember children, love your old Grandpa! Some day you may be old and worthless and you'll need young people to love you too.