a long hard road

please stop fucking emailing me everyone... I KNOW... my blog hasn't been updating lately, it's not FUCKING EASY being Eddie, Entropy.  I've got a lot to do... SKRANK TO SMOKE, PIMPLES TO POP - I don't always have time for my adoring pubic, so just hold your DAMN HOURSES people and gie me room to BREAHEZ!

Help Me (paert tree)

All of a sudden all will and determination to fight on has left me. I have long ago prepared myself for the time when I reached the end of the trail. I feel calm and at peace and grateful that I can go to sleep painlessly. I feel justified in terminating a life which no longer holds any hope of having the essentials which make it worth living -- I did desperately want to get well -- I still had much to live for -- hope for recovery -- hope of a reunion with the children -- work which I loved and which could have given me financial security and great satisfaction. But it was not to be -- I am defeated and exhausted physically and emotionally.