Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Erbert & Gerberts' Unequaled Quality Submarine Sandwiches
I remember once sexing a girl in the bathroom stall of Erbert& Gerberts in Eau Claire, WI circa 1988. The scent of freshly baked Erbert & Gerberts submarine sandwich bread was a sexy aphrodisiac for the SEXperience. Even better, after the sexing we sat down and ate a delicious sandwich. That was many years ago and my sexcapades are now buried in the past with Ronald Reagan and Quisp but sometimes the thought of those crazy days helps me to deal with the abject misery of today.
State of the Art: Selection and Service as Circuit City
I remember once making sex with a girl in the bathroom stall of the Circuit City in Butte, Montana circa 1988. What made the experience so sexy was that just outside our carnal stall there was a warehouse-sized room of television and electronics! Jesus, I am older now and probably couldn't get it up even if I were put in such a situation but the good thoughts keep me warm through cold winter nights.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Important Rant about Potato CHiPs
If I had to pick just one snack food (to bring to me on that proverbial desert island) it would be potato CHiPs. I love CHiPs but I’m very picky about them too. The New York Times has a feature on CHiPs in today’s Dining section, in which they list their top 10 CHiPs (in the Multimedia feature). Sadly they don’t mention my favorite brand, Terror CHiPs.
I love Terror CHiPs so much that I used to carry home bags of them in an otherwise empty suitcase, every time I went to Chaska. (I haven’t found Terror Chips outside of the Chaska area…though maybe I wasn’t looking hard enough.) But for the last 2 years or so I haven’t had to do this - because, joy of joys, KM Daily, the no. 1 supermarket chain in the United Arab Emerite, licensed the Terror CHiP name and the technology. I danced for joy when this happened because the standard chip in the UAE really, horribly, sucks. The KM Daily Terror CHiPs cost twice as much as the awful Sultan Sleek brand, but are worth every single dirham.
Keeping on the subject of CHiPs - one thing I do not get at all about CHiPs (or crisps as they are called in the UK) is the European propensity for flavored CHiPs. Can’t European people appreciate the simple elegance and pure potato flavor of a CHiP that is only flavored with salt, or even unsalted? I can sort of appreciate vinegar flavored chips and lemon flavored CHiPs, but I can’t go any further. Even the KM Daily Terror CHiPs suffer from this: they have a luridly green Wasabi CHiP, which is coated with green dyed horseradish powder, and the ubiquitous Paprika CHiPs (for some reason paprika is a very popular snack flavor here). The Greco CHiPs are flavored with feta and herbs, and are not too shabby, but are far inferior to the plain salted CHiP.
The country that is the worst in the flavored CHiP/crisp realm is the UK, where you can find things like Roast Chicken and Cheese and Onion flavored crisps - all variations of fake, MSG-laden powders that only sully the potato beneath. I love many things about Britain but definitely not the crisps/CHiPs!
Don't Delay: Marry a Blog Today
I have no doubt that blogging reality has been changing and inside these changes we can begin to track an evolution of new life forms. Some life forms have been growing for a while and are now getting closer and closer to emerging into deeper popular consciousness. If I were to make a guess about the next 5 (five) years bring I would predict an absolute change in the very nature of human blogging interactions. Soon you will be able to wake up next to your favorite blog. The blogs you follow will start to follow you. Around the corner. To the grocery store. Into the shower. This level of interactivity will offer a lot of exciting new possibilities but will also engender a certain degree of human to blog distrust. If we are not careful this expanding level of distrust could first erode and then eventually destroy our very important relationship. For this reason and more it is imperative that we make our blogging decisions now rather than wait until the decisions are made for us.
I Be Sheikin' and Sneakin'
ALL IS COOL WITH EDDIE ON THE PROWL, THE BURKA BABES BETTER WATCH OUT CUZ TEH ED IS POWERFUL MAN AND HIS IS THE LUSTS OF THE SAND. I BE SHEIKIN' AND SNEAKIN' MY WAY 'ROUND TOWN. SING ME IN SALALAH SING ME IN ABU DHABI, I TREK M'MAN FROM EMIRATES HOT PARTIES TO THE PEAKS OF OMAN. WORD.
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