I think it is important for me to nip this one in the bud. I'll admit that I've made a few errors here and there and I'll admit that there are a number of things that I could have done a lot better at if I'd just given that extra effort. Hey, I know it's hard to believe but I'm just a person like you and everyone else. Sure, I'm a mega-star. Sure, I'm sexy as fuck. Sure, I'm a very rich man. But don't let all that distract you, I have to step into my pants and pull them up every day just like the rest of you.
I do, however, think there are a number of areas that you could do a bit better at. I'm not asking to be set up and worshipped like Jesus on this cross but I would like a little bit of respect! I'm taking time out of my day to give you fans a little something extra and I wish to hell that you all would show a little bit of love and appreciation. Come on, my friends, what's it going to take for me to get into your hearts? I've tried cute, I've tried sweet, I've been honest and I've been mean but none of it seems to get through to a single one of you. Honestly, I don't know how much longer I can keep up with this!
A shimmering portal appears in the woods. A wounded Alien that looks like a giant owl falls out of it. I cradle the alien in my arms and take him back to my parents house. I nurse the Alien back to health and he promises to work for me. More Aliens come out of the portal and these ones are bent on world domination. They act like drunk soccer hooligans. They launch an attack on my parents house. The Alien I rescued agrees to help me defend the house from the invaders. The Alien has a voice full of calm and sounds like Leonard Nimoy. We go around and lock all the doors to the house. I go to lock the backdoor and see a mob of aliens running in terror from a frog. They see me looking out the backdoor and run up to the house. They all cram into the back hallway.
I close the door to the back hall and feel them all pressing against it, shouting and screaming. My Alien friend comes over and tells me not to worry. He uses his powers to make all of the aliens trapped in the back hall explode. We open the door and see the walls covered in chunks of flesh and dripping blood. We win. It ends with us down by the river at dusk. The Alien sculpts a pile of rocks into a large battle ship using trading cards like a palette knife. He speaks wistfully about how he should have whatever he wants. We talk about the color of the sky while Tim Hecker music plays. In the distance the Disney Castle lights up the evening sky.
