Saturday, June 27, 2009

Vacation

A shimmering portal appears in the woods. A wounded Alien that looks like a giant owl falls out of it. I cradle the alien in my arms and take him back to my parents house. I nurse the Alien back to health and he promises to work for me. More Aliens come out of the portal and these ones are bent on world domination. They act like drunk soccer hooligans. They launch an attack on my parents house. The Alien I rescued agrees to help me defend the house from the invaders. The Alien has a voice full of calm and sounds like Leonard Nimoy. We go around and lock all the doors to the house. I go to lock the backdoor and see a mob of aliens running in terror from a frog. They see me looking out the backdoor and run up to the house. They all cram into the back hallway.

I close the door to the back hall and feel them all pressing against it, shouting and screaming. My Alien friend comes over and tells me not to worry. He uses his powers to make all of the aliens trapped in the back hall explode. We open the door and see the walls covered in chunks of flesh and dripping blood. We win. It ends with us down by the river at dusk. The Alien sculpts a pile of rocks into a large battle ship using trading cards like a palette knife. He speaks wistfully about how he should have whatever he wants. We talk about the color of the sky while Tim Hecker music plays. In the distance the Disney Castle lights up the evening sky.

6 comments:

Important Man said...

I don't have the time to read your inane, stupid blog. I'm a very important man!

Sue Snell said...

We're not trying to hurt her, Miss Collins. We're trying to help her!

The Go Go's said...

Vacation's all we ever wanted. But not like this.

Unimportant Man said...

Unfortunately I do have time to read your inane, stupid blog. I'm a very unimportant man. :(

John Lydon said...

This is what you wanted!

Cryptic Bullshit Detector said...

BEEP BEEP BEEP