Thursday, November 13, 2008

Report from the War ZONE!!







"My soldiers spotted Eddie as he pushed through the line of Minnesotans waiting to undergo inspection and began racing toward them," said Guy. "He was four or five meters from them.
"Noticing that his shirt was padded, they called out to him to halt. They took cover, aimed their weapons at him, and told him to raise his hands. Then they asked him to lift his shirt and saw the belt of explosives. Seeing the soldiers' weapons, he became frightened and told the soldiers he was scared."
Soldiers also moved the Minnesotans at the roadblock away. Eddie stood in isolation with his hands raised until Peppers dispatched a robot carrying scissors to him and instructed him to cut the shoulder straps holding up the belt and to slip it off.
He was then told to strip to insure that no additional explosives were strapped to him.
He cut off part of it and struggled with the rest. "I don't how to get this off," he said.
"It is sad and tragic," said Guy. "He was fully aware of his actions and wanted to blow up, as he was promised 72 virgins in heaven and NIS 100," Guy said.
Eddie, who lives in Chaska, told interrogators he was jeered at by his friends who made fun of him, and decided to take advantage of the offer.
"Blowing myself up is the only chance I've got to have sex with 72 virgins in the Garden of Eden," Eddie said his handlers had told him.

20 comments:

TS said...

We now find out this boy was mentally retarded.
And his family is outraged at the Minnesotans who put him up to this.
What a disgusting bunch, they sent a retarded boy to carry out a suicide bombing...this is about as low as low can be.

susannie said...

Do all of us a favor and read a damn history book on Minnesota. Then read about Eddie I guess the rest of the world has done something terrible to the worthless savage too, so they deserve this.

GET AN EDUCATION - QUICK! Who knows, you may be next to be "bitten" by your rediculous and delusional thoughts of the "poor, dipshit" Eddie!

Ignorance is bliss - isn't it?

peggy said...

Control of the base passions and lower appetites is the most effective form of political control. Clearly, the people of Chaska know this. The sad example of a some dummy willing to give up his life in exchange for a fabricated liaison with 72 virgins should be evidence enough. The rest of Minnesota is in a battle for its survival against an old heresy, revamped and revitalized by ignorance, poverty and politics. May the Holy Spirit direct many misguided souls to the turth through this website.

JW said...

The only way to stop the insane mentality of the Worship the Zero website is to either, reeducate its readers, kill all who frequent it, or imprison permanenetly all who can not be converted to other more sensible blogs. What else can be done to a largely ignorant, desperate, radically educated, poor internet population who practice perverted idealogical hatred?

voidhead said...

That chick with the gun is one hot BBW! I'd fucking blow up a city too for a shot to make it with her!

rev. john paul martinski said...

Even blowing yourself up won't get a jerk like you 72 virgins in heaven.

mayor gene maxwell said...

I wish the Chaska situation would stop dominating our news. We need to focus on our problems here at home, in Hopkins.

lonely teenage boy said...

Man what I wouldn't do to make it with 72 virgins! Is there a place I can sign up for this?

midwestern fattie said...

I heard this news story today on Fox. Thank goodness all the Minnesotans are safe! There must have been an angel watching out for them.

muckraker 2099 said...

Is it true that Eddie had 32 absentee ballots shoved down the front of his pants with all the votes going towards Al Franken? This is voter fraud at it's worst!

andy said...

EDDIE I JUS HRED TEH NEWS ARE OYU OK MY FRENID THIS IS TERRBOL I HOPE LET YOU OUF OF JAIL SOONIT TURSDAY AM GZ NOT SAME WIFOUM YOU BUDDLY LOL FRENDI BE SAFE!

-ANDY

Norm Coleman said...

We are humbled and grateful for the victory that the voters gave us last night, this was a hard fought campaign and I look forward to a new era of healing.

casual observer said...

Check out those photos!

72 virgins said...

We are sorry to hear you won't be joining us now or ever Eddie. We really wanted to sex you. Oh well!

danish cartoonist said...

I can't get enough of this fucking website!

ed mcmahon said...

Hate to break it to you Ed, but the ladies in these photos are not virgins! AYYYY-OHHHHH!

hate ed said...

Now poor fat Eddie will never get any sexing...

need a little clarification said...

@ hate Ed:

Are you speaking about Eddie Entropy or Ed MacMahon? It's not entirely clear in your post.

hate ed said...

Both, I hate all Eds equally.

icepick_messiah said...

YUFUfkuy6r65rt56768&*&^KI?....>OL:PJUOGLFr!!!~`234}{}[][]Y^FRYTDYzSR!!!!1!

...

That was me essentially having a mental 'gasm.
__________

"Even hobbits deserve sex... They just have to pay for it."