Thursday, September 24, 2009

Bibble Study Pat Three: Loaves and Fishees

One of my favorite of the Bibble stories is the story of Violent J and the loaves and fishees.  At the Gathering of the Juggalos, the Mormon Juggalos were sad because they only had loaves and fishees while all the other hot Juggalos and Juggalettes had beer and meth.  Well, Violent J (J for Jaysus) saw the sorrow of the Mormon Juggalos and Juggelettes and spake thus unto them; "Be not sad my beautiful Juggalos and Juggalettes, I am Vilent J the light and way to our Lord Godz yo!  If thou layest down thy loaves and thy fishees I will work miracles unto them if only it is that you believe." 
Angry Boner, a Mormon Juggalo spake thus in return; "Violent J, I hear your words unto us and yet I call bullshit.  Even the amazing poer of the Lord God as it moves through you and all the Insane Clown Posse be not enough to transmute the base lame shit into hot drugz and booze." 
It came to pass that Vilent J then delivered the message of the Lord's wrath unto Angry Boner by beating his ass unto the ground. 
"Be there any more unbelievers among you?" Asketh J.  The other Mormon Juggalos shook their heads and with a wave of his wand Violent J worked magic unto the loaves and the fishees and brought in their place delicious Papst Blue Ribbon Beer and Skrank in their stead.
It was a time for rejoicing!
The moral of this Bibble story is that it would be most sad to be at the Gathering of the Juggalos without booze and skrank.


Andrew WK said...

This night is for you! For you! This is for you! Celebrate it anyway you want to! Were doing this for you!

The Fonze said...

The only thing less cool than the Juggalos is Eddie and his blog.