Thursday, September 10, 2009

It's safer in here (best of Jan. 09 pt. 2)

I got the fear when I was 43 years old. I am now 34 years old. It came on very slowly one night when I came home late from an office party. I went inside my house and was attacked, everything in the house flew off the shelves and the windows broke. I think. I had counseling but it didn't make any difference. After that I never left home again. Then I was told to try hypnotherapy which I did. I decided not to. Gradually, I was able to go out but not on my own. I still have to have someone with me. The worst is going back in. I would rather just be somewhere and stay there.

Being able to go into a shop, being able to visit a family and to do things I thought I would never do again, I have to keep on going out and not fall back to how I was. When I go to the door I just say to myself nothing is going to hurt me and keep saying that to myself when I am actually outside. One night I said this and the door knob started turning and I screamed for three hours straight. My neighbor Kathy heard me and called the police. It turned out to be a big misunderstanding, the gardner "Pedro" had forgot his keys and was trying to get into the house to reclaim them. He ran when he heard me scream but came back later and explained everything.

Things get better every day seeing that I was a prisoner for six years, things can only get better as time goes on. Right?


arnold (staff historian) said...

Oh the depths of depression that Eddie falls into are turly epic! My belief is that Eddie's January depression came from a psychic foreshadowing of some of the terrible celebrity deaths that '09 would bring us. Eddie still locks himself in a basement every time someone mentioned the tragic demise of TV's sexy lady Bea Arthur. Who said romance is dead?

Lyle the Life Coach said...

My advice: Next time you lock yourself into a small space Eddie, don't bring your computer to blog on!

lulz said...

I like the blog best when Eddie is a sad pathetic loser who can barely step outside. Oh wait, that's the way the blog always is.